After some recent life events, I struggled in loving those that had hurt me. I know that I felt love, but I struggled with it. I couldn't understand how I could still love those who had so callously written me off. I prayed to God about love and forgiveness and asked Him this question:
"How can I still love someone who had treated me so callously? How can I love someone who continuously behaves that way?"
God said that I can love them the same way that He loves me... unconditionally.
I am not a perfect person by any means. I make mistakes. I've been disobedient, I have mood swings, I've lost faith, I've said unkind things, and I've even turned away from God.
And in all of this... God still loves me.
God told me that His love is not dependent upon my behavior. No matter what I do, He still loves me. And that is how He expects us to love one another.
To love and accept someone ONLY if they act the way you want them to act is loving with conditions and is NOT real love.
If we REALLY love someone, we will love them even when they make mistakes. In fact, Colossians 3:13 tells us to "make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you..."
NO ONE is perfect and we will all mess up at some point. If everyone hated everyone else EVERY TIME we made mistakes, this would be a world completely void of love.
How could we survive that way??
Most people are unhappy in life because they don't know how to love. They sabotage themselves because they think that the only time they should show love to someone else is when that person is acting a certain way.
God commanded us love our neighbors as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:39). Think abut it, when you make a mistake, when you act out of character, do you write yourself off and never talk to yourself again?
Of course not!
In fact, most of us immediately excuse our own mistakes and expect others to quickly forgive us and forget about what we have done.
Why don't we love each other this way?
It's funny how we refuse to be that forgiving toward others. We hold them captive to their mistakes and try to make them pay for them.
How hypocritical we are!
Unconditional love means to treat others the way you want to be treated. It means loving them ANYWAYS, no matter what they have done. It means forgiving them and encouraging them to do better.
It doesn't mean that we can't be upset and hurt. It just means that we should show forgiveness and understanding. Most of the time, our mistakes are not intended to hurt anyone anyways. After all, to do something by mistake is to do it accidentally. Right?
True, we can be wrong sometimes. And the thing we've done wrong can hurt or offend someone. But, REAL love is understanding that being wrong doesn't necessarily make the person bad.
Instead of focusing on the person's mistake, consider what they might be going through, what they might be feeling. Consider WHY they may have made the mistake and try to use understanding rather than anger.
Remember, we cannot change the way others act and the things they do. But, we CAN control our own actions and reactions.
We can control the way we love, and we can CHOOSE to love others UNCONDITIONALLY.
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