Post #25 - All In

I've shared before how, until recently, I had been struggling with fear. I had been fighting to live my dreams but was scared to go out after them. I was afraid of failure, afraid of judgement, afraid of success. I was afraid of the heightened responsibility of walking in my purpose. I was afraid of not being enough.

I slowly began doing things to increase my faith and move me towards the fullness of my purpose. I began doing things to encourage and edify myself.

But I moved slow so healing came slow.

I still didn't fully believe in myself. I was still too scared. And I did only those things that didn't take me too far out of my comfort zone. I played it safe.

I saw others going after their dreams and heard them talk about their ambition and drive. I heard their testimonies about how they got to where they did against all odds.

I started to wonder where my drive went. Where my ambition disappeared to. Why I wanted some things so badly but wasn't moved to go and get them.

In meditation one morning, I got my answer.

My drive, my ambition, my courage was hidden behind fear. Fear had become such a staple in my life that it took the place of drive and ambition.

To move fear out of the way, I would need to feel fear and do what I needed to do anyways. I would have to do it afraid.

So, I started looking fear in the face. And I realized that he wasn't as tough as he seemed. When you stand up to fear, he backs down. He can't stand against your confidence and boldness. Fear can't stand against your faith.

It's not easy, but when I begin to feel fear, I talk to the fear and rebuke it! I tell fear that it is a liar. That it is just a figment of my imagination and remind it that I can do all things because Christ gives me strength.

And fear has no choice but to back down!! 

And I am strengthened and encouraged.

So now... I'M ALL IN!

I'm going hard and fast after my dreams and realizing the drive and ambition I had once had.

I'm taking the desires that God has given me and I'm putting them to work. I'm putting my all into my dreams. And I'm expecting a miraculous end!