Post #65(a) - My Ex Was My Blessing | My Back Story - Now

Before I hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, before I ever called him, God told me that he would be a blessing to me.

In fact, that was the reason I called him.

I thought, if God says that a man will be a blessing to me, he can't be all bad.

And he wasn't. He did several wonderful things to make me happy. But, the arguments seemed to overshadow everything else.

Most of the things we argued about were petty. But, in the end, they helped me.

I had been single for a very long time. I would tell people - and I truly believed - that I was single to get to know myself and draw closer to God. The truth is, this was only one of the reasons I remained single.

I was single to avoid being hurt. To avoid unnecessary drama. So that I didn't have to answer to anyone. So that I could guarantee my peace.

And it worked!

I was happy being single. I got lonely sometimes, and did wish I had some companionship. I also often yearned for a family of my own. But, for the most part, I was good.

I valued my singleness.

But, I couldn't remain single forever. At some point, I had to step out of my comfort zone and take a chance on a man... a relationship... and possibly even love.

So, I stepped out. And I reached out. And I stepped in.

And it was exactly what I needed.

The relationship may have been short lived and it may have hurt when we broke up, but my ex-boyfriend was truly a blessing to me. He brought out things inside of me that I never knew were there. Feelings that I thought were gone. Unforgiveness that I thought was worked out.

He didn't do it compassionately or softly. But, he did it. I wouldn't have realized that these things were still there if it weren't for him. If it weren't for the relationship.

If it weren't for him, I would not have been able to receive my healing. I would still be dwelling in my past. Still holding on to past hurts. Still hurting deep inside and taking my pain out on others.

I would still be stuck...and not realize it.

The relationship brought out fears and worries and distrust. Things I thought I had dealt with years ago. But, were still lying dormant inside of me.

If it weren't for my ex, I would not be writing this blog. Using it as a double edged sword, receiving my healing while helping others to heal, too.

My ex helped me to come to revelation. And he was chosen by God to do so.

Our break up was hard. I'm still struggling with it today. But, I am thankful for my ex! Because he was a blessing to me. A blessing that I am sure I can take into my future.