Post #69(b) - I Was Taught Wrong

I grew up in a house full of females. My grandmother raised me, my two sisters, and my cousin. And she taught us what she thought a woman should be. 

My mother and aunts would come around every now and then. But, honestly, none of them were great role models or had successful relationships that I could use as a model. Even my grandmother was single from as far back as I can remember. 

I've never seen one woman in my family have a kind, loving, and lasting relationship with a man. There was always violence - raised voices, anger, cussing, name calling, disrespect... Never love.

I had uncles who would come around every now and then, as well. And while one of them had a relationship that lasted many years, none of them attempted to show me what a good man looks like. What to look for in a man. Or what to expect from them.

All I was taught about a man is that I didn't need one.

I was taught that I was a strong, independent woman who didn't need to depend on a man. I was taught to take care of myself and survive on my own. I didn't need a man to take care of me.

After seeing all of the broken relationships in my family - all of the boyfriends and husbands, girlfriends and wives that came and went - I believed that I didn't need anyone. That I was better off on my own. 

But, this is not the will of God.

Throughout the bible, God tells us His desire for relationships. He says that it is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). And He wants us to come together in love and respect. 

God tells the woman to respect her husband and submit to Him. And He tells the husband to honor his wife and love her like Jesus loves the church.

Men should take a lesson from Jesus. 

He is gentle and kind. He is the Lord of our lives and reigns over us all. But, He reigns with love. He even chastises and corrects with love.

Women could take a lesson from Jesus as well. We submit to Jesus because we love Him. In fact, it's His overwhelming love for us that makes it easier for us to submit to Him. Submission is, in fact, an act of love. It's a show of trust and faith in the One who loves us.

This is what God expects from us.

He doesn't expect perfection from us. None of us are perfect. But He does expect us to obey His word and apply it to our lives. He expects us to practice patience and self control. To be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19). 

He wants us to depend on one another. We need one another to survive. 

We need each other for support, to raise healthy and whole children, to maintain a household, for stability.

But, we don't just need each other. The most important thing we need to have a successful relationship is God Himself. God will fill the spaces we cannot. He will provide those things that we are not able to give to one another. 

A cord of three strands is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). God will be our strength and fight with us when we and our relationships are growing weak. 

So, I was taught wrong. 

I do need a man in my life to depend on. In fact, I need two... Jesus and the man He has chosen for me.

It's time to put away what I've been taught and break the cycle of broken relationships in my family. I've been failing at them for too long to keep trying to make them work on my own. At some point, I've got to try something new. 

And that point is now! 

From now on, I'm putting aside what people say and what society thinks is right. I'm believing what God is teaching.