Post #91 - I'm Still Consistent!

It has now been almost a month since I have consistently written for this blog. I have explained in a previous post the reasons for my inconsistency and my desire to get back on track. This consistency blog and the lessons I've learned from it (from both my successes and failures) have helped me to grow and mature. 

I have recognized my strengths and weaknesses, my needs and desires, and the things I am willing to fight for (and the things I am not). I've realized the things I need to pick up and work more diligently on, and I've recognized those things that I need to put down and leave behind. 

Being consistent requires prioritizing and understanding what is of the most importance. Right now, my priorities include improving my time management, focus, creative and academic writing, overcoming fear, and increasing my confidence. 

I've learned that consistency doesn't mean beating myself up when I fall short of a goal or miss a deadline. It means not giving up when I do. It means getting back in the game and continuing to move forward, never letting the challenges of life stop me. It means picking up where I left off and trekking bravely onward. 

Consistency (and the lack thereof) is a teacher of grace, patience, and understanding. It has opened my eyes to the importance of failing and the lesson of not giving up. Consistency asks how bad you want it and is a strengthener of resolve. Consistency keeps you moving forward toward greatness.

And that's just where I'm headed!

Post #10 - No More Procrastination

It's been 10 days since I began challenging myself to write and post something to this blog everyday. I intend to continue to post everyday for a year, and so far, I doing pretty good.

But, consistency is hard!! Can I get a witness??

It's hard to figure out what to write about everyday. And, it's hard to stay focused and disciplined enough to get something written.

To be honest, I have been shamefully procrastinating to get my writing done. Just about every night, I have waited until the last minute to write something and get it posted before midnight.

I'm sure nobody noticed, but the majority of my posts over the last ten days were shared after 10 pm.

And some of them were made after 11.

That's because I would realize around 9:30 or so that I had not written anything, or I didn't finish what I started writing for the day. I usually find myself busy trying to complete EVERY task on my "to do" list AND watch A Different World... and I end up NOT getting done as much as I would have liked to. Then, I end up rushing to get a post written and published on time.

In fact, that's what's happening RIGHT NOW!

I looked at the clock at around 7:15 and said, "Dang! I still ain't write nothing to post tonight!"

**No, I don't speak proper English when I'm talking to myself. Don't judge me!**

I picked up my laptop and started to write, and immediately started thinking about all the other things I still had to do. And that I'm crazy tired. And that I still don't feel well. And that I have to schedule my day for tomorrow....

Uuuuggggghhhh!!!

So much to do in so little time!

Actually, I might be able to get more done if I made better use of my time and maybe put off watching A Different World until my work is done.

Instead, I've found myself pushing something out at the last minute and getting mad at myself - again- for putting it off until so late.

SO.... in order to get myself together and attempt to be more efficient, I am not only challenging myself to post to this blog everyday... I am also going to ensure that I write, edit, and post each day BEFORE 7 pm.

I think that's AMPLE time to complete my daily "to do" list AND write something meaningful for this blog. And I still might be able to catch a little of my favorite show once my work is done.

Problem solved. 😁

So, I'll be "seeing" you a little earlier than usual every night. Who knows? I might even start posting in the morning...

Either way, we have a daily date to kick procrastination's butt!! Because, after all, we are overcomers!!

Want to read about what else I have overcome during this challenge (fear, insecurity, inconsistency)? Click here.

Post #8 - The Break Up (It Was Necessary)

I recently went through a pretty bad break up. And, though the events leading to the break up were difficult and painful, they were necessary.

At first, I was perplexed by what happened. How did the relationship deteriorate so fast?

But, then I remembered that nothing just happens. Everything happens for a reason.

Before this relationship, I was single for a very long time. I had gotten divorced in 2006 and had not had a serious and meaningful relationship since.

I would like to say that I was happy being single and content with being on my own. But in actuality, I avoided men and relationships to avoid being hurt. There's no unnecessary drama and foolishness in your life when you're single.

I also took the single time to heal from my very volatile relationship and subsequent divorce and felt I was getting over all that had happened.

It wasn't until I entered into what I considered a serious relationship that the truth of what had been held inside me came out.

I didn't even realize it, and wasn't fully aware until after the relationship fell apart, that I had begun expressing the fear of reliving what I had experienced in my last relationship.

The fear of being hurt, the fear of being deceived, the fear of being controlled and losing myself in the process... again... all came out of me.

I put up my wall of protection and preservation and reacted every time I noticed something remotely out of whack.

My ex quietly rebelled against my show of fear and quickly became exasperated. I say he quietly rebelled because he didn't outwardly talk to me about my actions or his frustration. He held it in, possibly not even realizing that he was getting angrier and angrier - until he blew up in what seemed like never-ending arguing.

Obviously, because the situation involves another person, I will not go into great detail about what happened, but I think I am touching on the main gist of the story...

Anyways... before I knew it, the relationship was over and I didn't quite understand what I had done to contribute to its breakdown.

Until God revealed my mistakes.

He reminded me of the situations where I could have been more supportive or more appreciative. He showed me where my fear had taken over and I wasn't quite being myself, saying and doing things I normally wouldn't.

I thought that I was over all of the pain from the past. After all, it had been nearly 13 years since I was divorced. I had no idea that it was still lying dormant, waiting for something, or someone, to come and wake it up.

It was unfortunate, and very painful, but it had to happen.

If I had remained single and never gotten into a relationship, I would have never known that those fears still existed. I would have never known that there were issues that I still had locked inside and needed to be worked out.

I was blindsided by what was inside me, as I'm sure he was. But, as weird as it may sound, I'm glad that it happened. I now have the chance to grow and overcome those fears. I am no longer bound by them and I don't have to be afraid to give all of myself to the right relationship.

To my ex... I'm sorry. I know you were caught in the crossfire and didn't know how to deal with what you were experiencing. Honestly, neither did I. I pray for healing and revelation for you, and above all, the understanding of the fullness of God's love.

And mine. I love you forever.

-Erika!

P.S. This blog was inspired by the necessary changes brought to light by the end of this relationship.  To read the other posts that are contributing to my consistency and growth, click here.

Post # 6 - The Fleetingness of Life

I just got home from visiting a family member in the hospital. It was really hard to see my loved one all helpless and hopeless in that hospital bed. But, as I stood there watching the nurses and another family member do all they could to make him feel comfortable, I couldn't help but think about how fleeting life is.

I couldn't help but think about how much we take life for granted and EXPECT that we and the people we love are going to be here tomorrow.

Most of us seldom think about death and even fear it. We want ourselves and our loved ones to live forever.

But, as we all know, eternal life on this earth is not a possibility. Death is a necessity for all of us. And we will all have to, eventually, say goodbye. 

The only way we can live eternally is by accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. 

John 3:16 tells us that "God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." 

The promise of this sacrifice is that even though we might die here on earth, we can be assured that we will live forever in heaven with God. 

And all we have to do is believe.

I pray this for my family... for everyone I love. I pray that we will all accept Jesus into our lives and just believe. Believe in His might, His sovereignty, and His precious, unconditional, never-ending love for us.

Then we won't have to fear death. But, look forward to life with God. Eternal life.

To catch up on the other posts from this blog, click here. 

Post #5 - Commitment in the Face of Difficulty

This consistency challenge is proving to be hard. Today is only the 5th day of the challenge and I am already having a difficult time hanging in there. (To read the other 4 posts in this blog, click here.)

Though I have plenty of topics I could write about, I've had a sort of writer's block and haven't been able to write anything meaningful.

Don't get me wrong, I have written some things, but they're not right. They're not ready.

But I have committed to consistently writing and posting something everyday, and that's what I'm going to do.

This consistency challenge is extremely important to me. I NEED to prove to myself that I can take on something and see it through.

Honestly, seeing things through has not exactly been my strong suit. In fact, my track record shows me giving up just about every time things got hard. Jobs, businesses, relationships... you name it, if I was in it and it got difficult, I probably gave up on it.

I tend to get to a point when I decide that I don't need or want to endure any more of the hardship or heartache associated with whatever I've decided to quit. If it is too hard to do or everything is not working out perfectly, maybe it wasn't meant for me to do it.

If I don't have the resources, if something or someone I was depending on fell through, if things aren't going the way I like them, if I get disappointed... I tend to give up.

But, lately I have been hearing the Spirit say, "How bad do you want it?"

How bad do I want to go to the next level in my life? My career? How bad to I want to grow and maintain a business? How badly to I want to cultivate a successful relationship? How bad do I want it??

Really badly!!

But, how can I do those things if I am always giving up? How can I be successful in anything if I never see anything through? How can I ever acquire endurance if I never hang in there?

How can I ever see my promised land if I never go THROUGH my wilderness?

A lot of times, many of us give up when times get hard. We get to a point where we feel like we can't take it anymore and we abandon our assignments. But, Galatians 6:9 tells us to "not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."

We can't give up. If we endure the hardships, push through the difficulties, and see our commitments through - all the while, staying in prayer and letting God fight our battles - we will pass through our storm of difficulty and receive our reward.

I can't give up. I won't give up. Not now and not ever again. I NEED to prove to myself that I can take on something and see it through.

Thank you for hanging in there with me. Until tomorrow...

-Erika!

PS - Do you struggle with sticking with your commitments in the face of difficulty? Do you tend to give up when times get hard? Tell me about it below.

To read other encouraging posts in this blog, click here.

Post #4 - New Blog

When I started my 365 Day Consistency Challenge, I thought that I could use my existing blogs and post according to the blog I was writing for.

It seemed to work at first, but after just a few days of consistently writing and posting, it was quickly becoming a disorganized mess.

I had to go back and forth between blogs so much that it became difficult to find the right post under the right blog and figure out what needed to go where!

I saw the nerve racking confusion and frustration that keeping up with 365 various posts was sure to cause in the future, so I decided to do something about it... now.

The solution: I started a new blog!

This blog is strictly for the 365 day challenge. Every post that I share during this challenge will be neatly organized in the new Consistency forum, as well as filed under the blog (or other platform) for which it was written.

This solution ensures that EVERY SINGLE POST can be found quickly and easily. Now, there's no reason to miss a post!

Easy for you and headache diverted for me! Yay!!

So, post number 4 completed and carefully placed in its new home.

To read the previous posts in this blog, click here.

Thanks for reading and I will see you tomorrow! 😊💗

-Erika!

Post #1 - Consistency Challenge

I have experienced many inconsistencies in my life. Sadly, they stretch throughout just about every area of my life. So much so, that I have consistently failed to finish projects that I have started.

I have been extremely inconsistent with writing and posting to my blogs. I assume this inconsistency is the side effect of the evil culprit that had been plaguing me for a while - FEAR.

Because of fear, I lacked confidence and belief in myself and would abandon important projects that I had begun. I was afraid that I might fail, that no one would like my work, or read my blogs.

I even had a fear that I would succeed. I had become convinced that the responsibility of success would be too much for me.

The lies that I told myself about myself made it difficult to continue... to do anything. To complete anything.

When I came to the realization that fear is not real and that it was causing me lie to and sabotage myself, I decided to do something about it.

Instead of doubting myself and my abilities, I am taking on a new project that will not only break my streak of inconsistency, but will also help to increase my ability and my confidence in myself.

Huh?? You want to know what I am doing? Well, I'm glad you asked! (I know... That was corny! 😂)

I am initiating my own consistency challenge!

For the next 365 days - YES, AN ENTIRE YEAR - I will be writing and posting something on this, as well as one of my other two blogs, Experience: Life or My Back Story - Now EVERYDAY.

I will be writing about a variety of topics that will hopefully encourage, edify, inspire, and uplift all who read them. I will post life updates, product reviews, how tos, and more.

Basically, I will be writing and posting whatever I think will be worth the time you take out to read my blogs. The posts will entertain you and help me develop the habit of being more consistent.

Consider this post #1 on day #1 of my 365 day challenge. I ask for your support and encouragement as I return everyday, sharing more of myself with you and starting a trend of adopting positive habits.

I am looking forward to "hanging out" with you guys everyday and interacting with you. I hope you enjoy reading these posts as much as I love writing them. Please feel free to like, comment, and share as much as you would like!

"See" you tomorrow!!

-Erika!