Post #72 - Reshaping Me

God is changing me. Changing the way I think, the way I speak, the way I act. God is maturing me and molding me into what I need to be for the next stage of my life. He's reshaping me to fit my purpose. 

Life changed me over the years. Made me less of who I am supposed to be. The experiences of life - the heartbreaks, the disappointments, the rejection, the lies, the hurt. They all had an adverse effect on me. 

Isn't that always the case? Doesn't it seem that we allow the negative experiences to effect us more strongly than the positive ones?

Why??

I allowed myself to dwell in the pain of my past for a long time. The disfunction and fear caused by the pain I experienced became a normal and expected part of my life. I began to accept it as who and what I was supposed to be. 

I was wrong.

That is not the person I was meant to be. Not the person God desires me to be. God told me that He couldn't use me while I was faking through life. While I was pretending to be someone that I am not. 

The pain I went through was not intended to break me down and make me bitter and withdrawn. It was meant to teach me the ways of the world, to heighten my discernment, and to mature and strengthen me.

I allowed it to do the opposite, not understanding how people who claimed that they loved me - that they loved God - could do the things they did to me. 

Though I did begin to discern more clearly and listen to my gut more closely, I also began to pull away from people and opportunities. If it posed a challenge or if it felt strange, I ran from it. I didn't want to be hurt or fail again. 

I valued being alone more than anything. It was how I coped with life and the pain I still felt inside. I had no problem putting people out of my life. I felt that I and my life were better that way. Better without them. 

But, God began to tell me how He wanted my life to look... 

We're not meant to be alone. We don't have to let in those who are out to hurt us or keep those who consistently hurt us, but we shouldn't keep EVERYONE out.

We are made to love. We should guard our hearts and make sure we're not being callous with it. But, we shouldn't lock it away and refuse to love again. 

We are peace makers. I've always felt like I had to fight my way through life. That's been the narrative. That's been the case for most of my life. But, it's not what God desires. 

Matthew 5:9 says that God blesses those who work for peace. He wants us to reconcile ourselves with one another, seeking peace, understanding, compassion, and forgiveness. 

Holding on to anger and unforgiveness does not reflect the character of Christ. And anger does not produce the righteousness that God requires (James 1:20).

So, I'm letting go of anger. I'm not seeking my own way and I'm no longer allowing myself to get drawn into arguments. I'm loving more freely. And seeking peaceful resolutions over fighting to be heard.

God is reshaping the way I look at life and how I handle conflict. He is bringing out the gentler, more graceful part of me. He is preparing me for greatness and godliness... in every area of my life.

God is healing me and shaping me and molding me into what He needs me to be. To do His works. And do it with confidence and boldness. Without thinking about the things that hurt me and tried to stop me.

To do it with God in mind.

Post #71 - It Only Works If You Apply It

The things you learn in school mean nothing if you don't remember them. 

Giving your word means nothing if you don't keep it.

Likewise, the word of God is nothing if you don't apply it to your life.

John 2:22-25 says that we should not only be hearers of the word of God, but we should be doers of the word as well. This scripture likens those who do not apply the word as a man seeing his face in a mirror, then walking away and forgetting what he looks like. But, if we look into the word of God and apply it to our lives, it is sure to set us free.

"...if you do what it says and don't forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it. "

Many of us read and can even recite various scriptures from the bible, but do not apply them. For years, I went to church, heard the word, and left the same way. We have refused to use the word as a balm for healing. We seemingly read it for entertainment, to pass the time, or as something we think we are supposed to do. But, we haven't been using it to our advantage. 

The bible says that "the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires (Hebrews 4:12)."

But the word is only powerful and life changing if you allow it to be. The bible can't do anything if you just sit it on a shelf. And why read it if when you finish, you allow yourself to remain the same? The word is meant to help us see something within ourselves that is wanting and use it to make a change.

The problem is that too many of us are seeing ourselves as more than what we really are (Romans 12:3). We think that we are right in all things while everyone else is wrong and we refuse to listen. Even the word of God makes these types of people see the wrong in others while they ignore the wrongs within themselves. 

I pray that the word of God becomes an accuser. Pointing out our transgressions like a grade school snitch. I pray that it convicts us as we read it and helps us to see ourselves in the right light. 

Then, we must let the word heal us and strengthen us and be our guide to change, growth, and improvement. We must use it as a textbook, teaching us right from wrong. As a compass, guiding us in the right direction. We must use it as a self help book, making needed improvements within us and bringing us to a place of healing and wholeness. 

Many of us look at the bible with reverence. We put it above other books and think of it as holy. We swear on it, but we won't swear by it. 

We won't apply its contents to our lives. 

The bible needs to be a part of our daily routine. We must make it a central part of our lives. We must read it, meditate on it, and learn from it. 

Faith comes by hearing the word of God (Romans 10:17). The more we read it, the more we meditate on it, the more our faith grows. The more we learn its power. The more we learn to trust and depend on God.

The word of God is powerful to convict, heal, and set free. But, we've got to use it as it is intended and apply it to our lives. What good is it if we forget it as soon as it's read? 

No good. 

And if we don't apply it, we will forever remain the same. 

Post #70 - Jesus Is Born

...God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a village in Galilee, to a virgin named Mary. She was engaged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of King David. Gabriel appeared to her and said, “Greetings, favored woman! The Lord is with you! ” 

Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean. “Don’t be afraid, Mary,” the angel told her, “for you have found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David. And he will reign over Israel forever; his Kingdom will never end!” 

Mary asked the angel, “But how can this happen? I am a virgin.” The angel replied, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God... 

Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” And then the angel left her. 

Luke 1:26‭-‬35, 38 (NLT)

At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire. (This was the first census taken when Quirinius was governor of Syria.) All returned to their own ancestral towns to register for this census. 

And because Joseph was a descendant of King David, he had to go to Bethlehem in Judea, David’s ancient home. He traveled there from the village of Nazareth in Galilee. He took with him Mary, to whom he was engaged, who was now expecting a child. 

And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. She gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them. 

Luke 2:1‭-‬7 (NLT)

That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. 

They were terrified, but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.” 

Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying, “Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.” 

When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger. 

After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child. All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished, but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often. 

The shepherds went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. It was just as the angel had told them. 

Luke 2:8‭-‬20 (NLT)

...About that time some wise men from eastern lands arrived in Jerusalem, asking, “Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose, and we have come to worship him.” 

...And the star they had seen in the east guided them to Bethlehem. It went ahead of them and stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were filled with joy! 

They entered the house and saw the child with his mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasure chests and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. 

Matthew 2:1‭-‬2, 9-11(NLT)

Post #69(b) - I Was Taught Wrong

I grew up in a house full of females. My grandmother raised me, my two sisters, and my cousin. And she taught us what she thought a woman should be. 

My mother and aunts would come around every now and then. But, honestly, none of them were great role models or had successful relationships that I could use as a model. Even my grandmother was single from as far back as I can remember. 

I've never seen one woman in my family have a kind, loving, and lasting relationship with a man. There was always violence - raised voices, anger, cussing, name calling, disrespect... Never love.

I had uncles who would come around every now and then, as well. And while one of them had a relationship that lasted many years, none of them attempted to show me what a good man looks like. What to look for in a man. Or what to expect from them.

All I was taught about a man is that I didn't need one.

I was taught that I was a strong, independent woman who didn't need to depend on a man. I was taught to take care of myself and survive on my own. I didn't need a man to take care of me.

After seeing all of the broken relationships in my family - all of the boyfriends and husbands, girlfriends and wives that came and went - I believed that I didn't need anyone. That I was better off on my own. 

But, this is not the will of God.

Throughout the bible, God tells us His desire for relationships. He says that it is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). And He wants us to come together in love and respect. 

God tells the woman to respect her husband and submit to Him. And He tells the husband to honor his wife and love her like Jesus loves the church.

Men should take a lesson from Jesus. 

He is gentle and kind. He is the Lord of our lives and reigns over us all. But, He reigns with love. He even chastises and corrects with love.

Women could take a lesson from Jesus as well. We submit to Jesus because we love Him. In fact, it's His overwhelming love for us that makes it easier for us to submit to Him. Submission is, in fact, an act of love. It's a show of trust and faith in the One who loves us.

This is what God expects from us.

He doesn't expect perfection from us. None of us are perfect. But He does expect us to obey His word and apply it to our lives. He expects us to practice patience and self control. To be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19). 

He wants us to depend on one another. We need one another to survive. 

We need each other for support, to raise healthy and whole children, to maintain a household, for stability.

But, we don't just need each other. The most important thing we need to have a successful relationship is God Himself. God will fill the spaces we cannot. He will provide those things that we are not able to give to one another. 

A cord of three strands is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). God will be our strength and fight with us when we and our relationships are growing weak. 

So, I was taught wrong. 

I do need a man in my life to depend on. In fact, I need two... Jesus and the man He has chosen for me.

It's time to put away what I've been taught and break the cycle of broken relationships in my family. I've been failing at them for too long to keep trying to make them work on my own. At some point, I've got to try something new. 

And that point is now! 

From now on, I'm putting aside what people say and what society thinks is right. I'm believing what God is teaching. 

Post #69(a) - Warfare (Always Fighting)

Warfare (Always Fighting)

By: Erika Henderson 

Hands up and head downcast 

Whispering murmurs 

Unintelligible and misunderstood 

Eyes swollen. Heart racing. 

Fighting.

The battle is not mine?

Then why am I fighting?

Laboring?

This is warfare.

Pacing to and fro

Or fallen to my knees

Spitting scriptures and proclaiming promises

Sweat pouring. Head pounding.

Fighting. 

The battle is not mine?

I've been assigned 

Charged.

This is warfare.

Head covered

Chest protected

Hands clenched

Belt tight

Feet shod.

Fighting

Praising 

Praying

Worshipping

Standing firm. Stand my ground.

Always ready 

Always fighting. 

This is warfare!

Post #68(b) - Meditate Your Way To Success

Meditation is a great success tool. It helps you to reduce stress and anxiety, and improve your focus and concentration. 

Many top business leaders, athletes, and celebrities practice meditation and swear by its benefits. In fact, Nearly 90% of the most successful people in the world practice meditation on a daily basis. 

Steve Jobs, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Tony Robbins all attribute their success to meditation. And top companies such as Google and Amazon offer their employees meditation classes to improve creativity and focus (EOC Institute, 2019).

Meditating just a few minutes a day can increase mental capacity and improve your health, focus, creativity, memory, and even your IQ.

All it takes is 10-15 minutes of mental focus and stimulation a day. Some people meditate for an hour or more, but that amount of time is not absolutely necessary. Just 5 minutes of dedicated meditation a day can elevate the brain to increased emotional and mental stability. 

Research shows that meditation stimulates the areas in the brain associated with memory, concentration, and learning, improving them over time (Patel, 2018).

So, meditation can improve the ability to take in information, retain it, and recall it at will. It helps the brain be more creative and innovative. Coming up with new and exciting ideas will be easier with meditation. 

Meditation also helps with dealing with conflict. With the reduction of stress and the improvement of emotional stability, you can better control your emotional responses and more quickly solve bothersome problems. 

Over time, meditation can help you to develop a clearer and more focused mind, making you more productive and capable. You will be more able to think up and implement new ideas. And better deal with any internal and external conflict that may arise. 

With meditation, you can stop stressing about how you are going to get that business going, implement that idea, or create that report. You can just relax... 

Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and meditate your way to success. 

Resources: EOC Institute. (2019). Why Meditation Is the Secret to Success. 

Patel, D. (2018). 7 Proven Ways Meditating Prepares You for Success. 

Post #68(a) - God Loves Us

God loves us.

He loves us so much that He sacrificed His only son so that we can be free from sin and have eternal life. 

He shows us how much He loves us every day. He shows us by sustaining us through the night and allowing us to take another breath come morning. 

He provides for us, sustains us, and blesses us because He loves us. He forgives us, delivers us, and showers grace and mercy upon us because He loves us. 

He uses us to be His hands and feet. He trusts us with His will and He provides us with the tools to accomplish it... because He loves us. 

There's nothing you can do or say to make God stop loving you. And nothing can separate you from the love of God. 

"Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow - not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below - indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:35-39)."

He loves us in spite of our mistakes. In spite of our flaws and shortcomings. 

He loves us no matter our differences or similarities. Our origins or beliefs. 

God is love (John 4:16). And He loves all that He has created. We are perfect in His sight. And He leads and guides us to His perfection.

God loves us because we are His. He made us. 

He breathed His ever powerful breath into us and gave us life. 

God's love is evident all around us. 

It is evident in all He does for us, in us, and through us. It's evident in all He has created for us. It is evident in the blood He shed for us.

God wants you to know how much He loves you so that you don't live in worry and fear. Perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). 

He wants us to recognize and receive His love freely. So that we can be free. And freely love one another.

Post #67 - God is Waiting for You

I asked God why so many people are homeless, addicted, destitute, and caught up in the traps of the world. 

He said, "because they do not know me. If they would just turn to me, I would save them."

What a powerful revelation that I wish more people understood. If we acknowledged God in our troubles and gave our burdens to Him, He would protect us and heal us. 

But, so many people don't realize God's power! 

Or, they think that they have to get themselves together BEFORE they can turn to God. For some reason, people think that God will not accept them as they are. That they have to handle their problems all on their own. 

But, when our legs are broken, we don't try to reset them and patch them up before we go to see a doctor. We go to the doctor BECAUSE our legs are broken. And we allow the doctor to do the patching. 

This is exactly what we should do when our lives are broken. We should not be trying to fix our problems ourselves. We can't. It's impossible. But, with God, ANYTHING is possible. 

God is the Great Doctor! We should be going to Him for our healing. 

And it saddens Him when we don't. 

Jesus grieves in Matthew 23:37 about how His peole will not turn to Him - how they rebell against Him. He cried, "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem... How often I have wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you wouldn't let me!"

God wants to protect us and provide for us. But we are not willing to turn to Him, believe in Him, and trust him to take care of us. 

We would rather dwell in the pain of our pasts and numb ourselves with drugs and alcohol, rather than trying God. We would rather accept the darkness of depression and medicate ourselves to find a spark of happiness, rather than turn to God and find joy in Him.

God can turn your life around. He can make all things new. He can give new life to what is dead. And make your crooked ways straight. 

God can do all that you need Him to do. And He will be all that you need Him to be!

But, we've got to submit to Him. Give Him our time and our problems. Let Him carry our burdens and fix our issues. 

We've got to acknowledge God in all our ways and let Him direct our paths (Proverbs 3:6). Only He knows the paths that are best for us.

And when we follow Him, He will lead us to healing and blessing and freedom!

Try Him... He's waiting for you. 

Post #66(b) - Poem: Approach, My Soul, the Mercy Seat

Approach, My Soul, the Mercy Seat
By: John Newton

Approach, my soul, the mercy seat,
Where Jesus answers prayer;
There humbly fall before his feet,
For none can perish there.

Thy promise is my only plea;
With this I venture nigh;
Thou callest burdened souls to thee,
And such, O Lord am I.

Bowed down beneath a load of sin,
By Satan sorely pressed,
By war without and fears within,
I come to thee for rest.

Be thou my shield and hiding place,
That, sheltered near thy side,
I may my fierce accuser face,
And tell him thou hast died.

O wondrous love! To bleed and die,
To bear the cross and shame,
That guilty sinners, such as I,
Might plead thy gracious name.

Poor tempest-tossed soul, be still;
My promised grace receive;
I’ll work in thee both power and will;
Thou shalt in me believe.



(DALEHURST C.M. Arthur Cottman, 1874
A Selection of Hymns for Public Worship, William Gadsby, #388)

Poem courtesy of Bible.org

Post #66(a) - You Don't Have to Stay in That!

Sometimes, we get caught up in things we had no intentions doing. Things we've told ourselves that we would never do.

Situations and circumstances intertwine, and before you know it, we're caught up in something and we don't know how we got there!

I've been there... more than once. 

Whether it's different situations, or the same thing over and over. We've all found ourselves in places we don't want to be. Places we shouldn't be.

And then, it seems difficult to get out of it. 

We chastise ourselves. We wrack our brains trying to figure out how to walk away. But, we can't. We get stuck, and there seems to be no way out.

But, there is.

God is our way out! God is a fixer of ALL THINGS. And He can help us escape sin.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says "the temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure."

We have to turn to God and give Him our troubles, our sins, and He will make a way out for us.

He will give us the strength and courage to walk away. 

He will help us turn away from adultery. He will help us defeat addiction. He will help us overcome any binding and sinful situations we might find ourselves in. We've just got to turn to Him and turn it all over to Him.

God says that He will deliver us. He will make a way when there seems to be no way. And once we have been delivered from our situations, God says that we don't need to look back and we don't have to worry. 

We can forget what we have done in our pasts. And God says that we can forget all that He's done to deliver us in the past. He says "it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland (Isaiah 4:18-19)."

God will miraculously make a way. No matter what situation you find yourself in - whether intentional or not - God will make a way out for you.

All you have to do is go to Him with honesty and transparency and confess your sins. AND YOU MUST TURN AWAY FROM THEM!! Don't be delivered from your sinful ways then go back at the slightest call. Allow God to be your strength and your comforter. And He will heal you of your sinful desires. 

In 2 Chronicles 7:14, God says that "if my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."

God has promised to bring you out, to forgive you, and to heal you. All you have to do is repent of your sins and sin no more. 

We've all been caught up in something that we are not proud of. But, we don't have to stay there. 

We can give it all to God and trust Him to keep His promises and bring us out. 

And help us to STAY OUT. 

Post #65(b) - The Power of Words

A lot of us don't bother to watch what we say. A thought comes into our minds and we let it come out of our mouths. No matter good or bad. Even more so when we are aggravated or angry. 

We say some of the cruelest, down-putting things to each other. We are more apt to criticize and point out flaws than we are to give compliments or words of encouragement.

We even speak this negativity about and over ourselves!

Why do we do that? 

Don't we know that there is power in our words?!

Proverbs 18:21 says that death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. 

Our words not only effect those we speak against, but we also reap the consequences of our words. 

Because we are so powerful as children of God, when words are spoken from our mouths, they MUST take place. Especially when we speak these words over and over.

Jesus says, in Mark 11:23, that if we believe the things that we say, they shall come to pass. We shall have whatever we say.

Jesus was talking about faith.

When we speak something about someone or about ourselves - good or bad - and we believe it, it is bound to happen.

Words are like seeds. When they are planted into the atmosphere, they take root and grow. They grow in the minds and hearts of those that they were spoken about. Including ourselves.

We begin to believe the words that people speak about us and that we speak about ourselves.

If our parents told us, when we were kids, that we were stupid and wouldn't amount to anything, somewhere deep inside, we believed it. And some of us might be less than how we imagined ourselves because of it. On the other hand, those of us whose parents told us that we were smart and creative and can be anything we want to be are likely confident and successful. 

We've got to be careful with what we say about one another.

We've got to speak life, encouragement, and positivity, even if we don't see anything positive in the person we're talking about.

I've had my fair share of times when I believed about a person only what I saw and I spoke it out loud. I may have criticized them or complained about them, and only spoke the negativity that I saw. But, one thing that I have realized is that WE ARE ALL GOD'S CHILDREN! And He loves us all, no matter our flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings.

And we are supposed to love each other as well. The way God loves us!

So, we have to stop speaking death over each other and over ourselves. We have to speak life! Because the things we speak develop into actions and attitudes. They become a part of us.

Even our thoughts are dangerous. The bible says that what a man thinks in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). This is even more so when the thoughts are spoken.

If we stop negative thoughts while they are in our minds, they can do us no harm. We should not allow them to come out of our mouths. Keep them to ourselves.

Or, we can change those negative thoughts all together. Turn them into positive ones.

Let's not make the enemy happy by defeating and dividing ourselves with our words.

Let's speak life to and about one another!

Post #65(a) - My Ex Was My Blessing | My Back Story - Now

Before I hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, before I ever called him, God told me that he would be a blessing to me.

In fact, that was the reason I called him.

I thought, if God says that a man will be a blessing to me, he can't be all bad.

And he wasn't. He did several wonderful things to make me happy. But, the arguments seemed to overshadow everything else.

Most of the things we argued about were petty. But, in the end, they helped me.

I had been single for a very long time. I would tell people - and I truly believed - that I was single to get to know myself and draw closer to God. The truth is, this was only one of the reasons I remained single.

I was single to avoid being hurt. To avoid unnecessary drama. So that I didn't have to answer to anyone. So that I could guarantee my peace.

And it worked!

I was happy being single. I got lonely sometimes, and did wish I had some companionship. I also often yearned for a family of my own. But, for the most part, I was good.

I valued my singleness.

But, I couldn't remain single forever. At some point, I had to step out of my comfort zone and take a chance on a man... a relationship... and possibly even love.

So, I stepped out. And I reached out. And I stepped in.

And it was exactly what I needed.

The relationship may have been short lived and it may have hurt when we broke up, but my ex-boyfriend was truly a blessing to me. He brought out things inside of me that I never knew were there. Feelings that I thought were gone. Unforgiveness that I thought was worked out.

He didn't do it compassionately or softly. But, he did it. I wouldn't have realized that these things were still there if it weren't for him. If it weren't for the relationship.

If it weren't for him, I would not have been able to receive my healing. I would still be dwelling in my past. Still holding on to past hurts. Still hurting deep inside and taking my pain out on others.

I would still be stuck...and not realize it.

The relationship brought out fears and worries and distrust. Things I thought I had dealt with years ago. But, were still lying dormant inside of me.

If it weren't for my ex, I would not be writing this blog. Using it as a double edged sword, receiving my healing while helping others to heal, too.

My ex helped me to come to revelation. And he was chosen by God to do so.

Our break up was hard. I'm still struggling with it today. But, I am thankful for my ex! Because he was a blessing to me. A blessing that I am sure I can take into my future. 

Post #64(b) - Guided Meditation

Today, I want to guide you through a short meditation and breathing exercise. This meditation is meant to aid in relaxation and to decrease stress and anxiety.

All you need to do is follow my instructions and focus your mind. Soon, you'll be well on your way to a more relaxed and stress free life.

Begin by sitting or lying in a comfortable position.

Close your eyes. And begin to take long, deep, deliberate breaths.

Inhale deeply through your nose. Hold for about 3 seconds. Then, slowly exhale through your mouth.

Breathe in total relaxation and breathe out stress and tension. Do this a few times to initiate the relaxation process.

After taking 3-4 slow, deep breaths, begin to breathe at your normal pace. But, focus on keeping your breaths deep and deliberate.

Bring your attention to your feet. Wiggle your toes and make circles with your ankles, shaking out all of the tension. Slightly bend your knees and flex the muscles in your thighs. Shake out all of the tension from these areas and focus on relaxing them.

Wiggle your hips and roll the tension out of your back and shoulders. Relax you arms, laying them comfortably by your side. Shake the tension out of your elbows, wrists, and fingers.

Roll your neck gently to the front, then to the back. Slowly turn your neck to the left and to the right, stretching out any tight, overworked muscles.

Finally, relax your facial muscles. Try not to smile or frown. Don't squeeze your eyes shut. Just let your eyelids rest in the closed position. And unclench your teeth. Let your jaw drop, releasing the tension and allowing relaxation to take over.

Meanwhile, continue to breathe - deeply and deliberately.

Allow in affirming thoughts and relaxation with each inhale. And force out stress, anxiety, and the tension caused by them with each exhale.

Let's practice...

Deeply inhale and breathe in positive energy........ Slowly exhale and breathe out all negativity.

Breathe in rest and relaxation....... Breathe out stress and tension.

Breathe in godly, agape love...... Breathe out malice and hate.

Breathe in life affirming thoughts....... Breathe out all problems and defeat.

Breathe in the love of God....... Breathe out all fear and anxiety.

Take a couple more deep breaths, remembering only to let positivity in.

Continue to expel all negativity.

Once you have reached your desired level of relaxation, you can slowly open your eyes and bask in your new state of mind.

Do this on a regular basis to continue to strengthen your mind and relieve stress.

Happy meditating!!

Post #64 (a) - I Apologize Some More...

In my last post, I said that I had worked out my internet issues and was going to continue with the daily postings. Well... SIKE! 😁😁

No, seriously...

I am still having internet issues at home. And today was the first day I was able to make it to the library to steal their internet.

I am thinking up some other options to get me back on track and ensure that I am posting every day.

I am sure my internet issue will be fixed soon, and there will be no need for any breaks in the future.

As promised, I will submit two posts for every day that I've missed - one for the missed day and one as the regularly scheduled post.

Please hang in there with me while I work through these problems. There are more than I've shared with you. But, no need to complain. Right?

I have a second post coming in a few minutes, and I'll see you back here tomorrow!

God bless!! 💜

-Erika!

Post #63 - My Apologies

I have had internet and personal issues for the last couple of days and was not able to post to the blog. Every internet source I usually have was unavailable. And I had some major abdominal pain. 

I am dealing with the internet problem and have found a temporary solution. I am continuing to work on it and am trying to find a more secure and permanent connection. 

As for the abdominal pain, it has passed. It comes and goes... every month... like clockwork. 

Because I missed posting for the last couple of days, I will do like I did before and post two submissions for the next two days to make up for the ones I missed. 

I hope you enjoy them. And again, I apologize for the missed posts.

Post #62 - Harlem (Poem)

Harlem
By: Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

       Does it dry up
       like a raisin in the sun?
       Or fester like a sore—
       And then run?
       Does it stink like rotten meat?
       Or crust and sugar over—
       like a syrupy sweet?

       Maybe it just sags
       like a heavy load.

       Or does it explode?


Poem courtesy of Poets.org

Post #61 - Beyond Conformity

I'm different. I've always been different. 

Since I was a child, to this day, I've been different. 

I speak differently. I think differently. I act differently. 

I've never really fit in anywhere. Or with anybody. 

No matter who I cliqued with, what I tried to do, or who I tried to be, I always stood out like a sore thumb. I've never even been able to completely fit in with my own family. 

And I've come to grips with that.

The only problem with being different is... it can get really lonely. And I find myself wanting people to be more like me. Especially those closest to me. 

This isn't because I think that they would be better people if they were more like me. It's because it would help me feel less lonely and more comfortable. Not like I was so... different. 

But, what I've realized is that WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT in some ways. 

We have different personalities and different opinions. We have different characteristics and different thought processes. 

We were made to be different. Especially those of us who have been chosen and set apart by the Lord.

1 Peter 29 says that we are a chosen people. We are royal priests, a holy nation, a peculiar people, and God's very own possession. And as a result of Him choosing us, we can show others the goodness of God. For He has called us out of the darkness and into His wonderful light!

This helps me to understand why I have never fit in. God never meant for me to. He has set me apart to accomplish a purpose that only I can accomplish. 

He has given me the tools and traits I need for my purpose. Things that only I possess. Those things that make me different. 

And God has given you everything you need to accomplish your purpose, as well.

All those things about us that make us feel uncomfortable around other people. The things that we try to change about ourselves, or we wish were different. Those things were given to us by God and make us unique.

They make us uniquely qualified to do what God has called us to do.

So, there's no need for us to feel lonely or outcast because of our differences. There is a reason for them. We don't have to try to fit in with the crowd. 

God has set us apart and made us special, not just different. 

Special people... chosen for His special purpose.

Post #60 - Fight For Your Dreams

Life takes us in different directions sometimes. We end up going places and doing things we've never imagined.

And that's okay.

None of us want to live a boring and nonexistent life. We all yearn for excitement and adventure. And we become bored and depressed when we don't get them.

We want to be successful in life. We want our dreams to come true. And we go from job to job, opportunity to opportunity looking for them.

Proverbs 13:12 says that a "hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life."

But dreams don't just manifest out of nowhere. We have to fight for our dreams and keep them fresh in our minds. We have to put some hard work into making them come true.

We can't expect that just thinking about them and hoping for them is going to make them happen. Faith without works is DEAD (James 2:20,26). So, hard work and a fair amount of risk is required to bring about our dreams.

And we can do it!

We can bring about our dreams and make them a reality. We can live them if we FIGHT for them.

Dreams don't come true on their own. But, if we go after them and never give up, never quit... we can have our dreams. We can live them.

We just can't EVER give up the fight!

Post #59 - Are You Meditating? | Meditation Monday

Have you tried meditation yet?

Have you cleared your mind? And just relaxed or listened for direction.

I try to meditate everyday. Especially since my life has been so hectic and stressful, lately.

I usually meditate after prayer. And I listen to hear if God has anything He wants to say to me.

When I meditate and clear my mind of all the noise and clutter, I can hear more clearly. And I can better focus on what I am hearing.

I don't want to miss anything the Lord is saying.

I sit in a quite place. I put soft music in my ears (usually instrumentals...the words distract me). And I focus on God. I bring Him to the forefront of my mind, and I keep Him there.

I work to keep my thoughts FOCUSED. If my mind starts to wander, I cut the random thoughts short and bring my mind back to God.

Once I am finished meditating, I acknowledge what I thought or heard, and I write them down. I pray about them and decipher if they are my own personal thoughts or directions from God.

I normally know when my thoughts are from God, because they are things I wouldn't normally think or say to myself. They are deep, spiritual, philosophical thoughts. They make me think and take me into another dimension.   

My personal thoughts are about worldly things. Like marriage, growing older, and finally landing my dream career...

When God speaks, I know it's Him and I take notice.

Sometimes, He stays quiet though. And I hear nothing but silence.

I actually love when that happens!

Sometimes my mind is so quiet and I get so relaxed in meditation that I end up waking up an hour later, with drool on my chin, wondering what happened! Those days and the hearing from God days are the best!

I hope you try meditation for yourself. Just sit, close your eyes, and focus your thoughts on God or that thing you're wanting direction for. And wait...

And if you don't hear anything at first, keep meditating. Keep clearing and focusing your mind. You will get the answers you're looking for. And your mind and overall well-being will be strengthened in the process.

Post #58 - Why Do You Give?

Often times we start off happy to give to our friends and family, willing to lend a helping hand. But, somewhere down the line, we begin to wonder what's in it for me? Our selfless desire to help out disappears and we become contemptuous, not wanting to help anymore.

Why is this? What has changed?

We become discontented with giving because we weren't giving from our hearts; we expected something in return. And when we don't get what we expected, we no longer have the will to help.

Galatians 6:9 tells us not to grow weary in doing well. If we continue to serve others, even when we feel like we are not being appreciated, we will receive our just reward in due time.

But, a lot of us only give expecting something in return. This is not what God desires.

I knew a woman who decided to take in some displaced children when they were removed from their parents. Apparently, the woman thought that she was going to be able to get money from the state for taking care of them. When she found out that she could not get any cash assistance because she wasn't a relative of the children, she changed her mind and put them back into the foster care system.

This person was not helping out for the good of those children. She was not helping purely from the kindness of her heart. She was helping because she thought she could get something out of it.

But, the bible tells us that we should give of ourselves willingly, doing all we do in love, and not seeking anything in return. When we do this, our reward will be great, and we will be children of God (Luke 6:35).

So love openly and give willingly, not bragging about what you've done or expecting anything in return... And GOD, Himself, will reward you!

Post #57 - Life After Death

Losing someone in a relationship is like losing someone to death. It feels the same. You miss the person the same. 

And it's hard to accept and believe the reality that we have broken up. Just like the difficulty of accepting a death. 

We get over it eventually. But, it's hard and recovery may take a while.

We constantly think about the good times we shared together. And obsess about what happened and where it went wrong. 

And sometimes we tell ourselves (just like with the death of a loved one) that we can't believe that they're gone. It seemed like we would spend forever together. 

But forever didn't last as long as we thought it would. 

So, we come to terms with our loved one being gone. And we accept that they are never coming back. 

Accepting that death is a part of life (whether it's physical or the death of a relationship) can help us to find life of our own.... And live again. 

Post #56(b) - Spiritual Arrogance

Church folk are hurting one another. 

We're taking religion and calling it relationship. But we don't love and support one another like we should. 

We're placing unrealistic expectations on one another and judging each other according to our own convictions. 

Many of us, when we reach a certain level of understanding, begin to treat other believers as less than. Like we are better than them because we understand something they don't. 

We all started as babes in the faith. We all have to take a spiritual journey. And some of us are still in our journeys, still enduring our process.

As believers, we are supposed to love, encourage, and support one another. We are supposed to pray for one another's growth and understanding. Not throw shade on one another because someone is not where we think they should be. 

The church is the reason people fall away. Instead of supporting each other through our growth, we judge one another for where and how we are. We look and talk down on each other as if we never had to endure the same trials or learn the same lessons. 

We all have to go through the process of faith. And the arrogance some of us show because we think we've "arrived" isn't helping anyone. Actually, it's causing more damage than good.

We need to humble ourselves and be who God called us to be in His word. And God's word does not tell us to look down on one another or judge each other because of our spiritual status. 

In fact, the bible tells those who are spiritual to act in meekness and humility. It says that "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6).

We look at these arrogant people as if their hubris gives them power. Actually, it makes them look like bullies. And they'll have to answer for it when they stand before God.

Post #56(a) - Walk in Authority

A while back, a friend asked me why the devil attacked him so much.

The short answer... because you let him!!

Too often, we give the devil freedom to run a muck in our lives. We believe the lies he tells us and we act out of sorts when things don't go our way... falling right into his trap.

What most of us don't understand is that the devil has no power over us. He has NO AUTHORITY to do anything in our lives... unless we allow it.

We have been given authority over all the power of the enemy (Luke 10:19). That means that we have the upper hand, NOT the devil! 

God is head over the devil. Demons bow to His name. And He has given us dominion over the devil, too.

So, when the devil tries to come against us, we can stand up to him and remind him that he has no power!!

James 4:7 says, "...submit yourselves to the Lord. Resist the devil and he will flee from you."

This means that once we have given everything over to God and humbled ourselves before Him, we can stand in authority over the devil. We can tell him that Jesus is the Lord of our lives and He is fighting our battles for us. 

The devil has no choice but to go away!

He can do nothing but to run!!

The devil is fearful of us... when we walk in our authority. When we know who we are in the Lord, and we resist him.

Even then, he will try us. But, we've got to remember that no weapons formed against us will prosper. And that we have all authority over the devil. 

God has given us the power to shun and shame our enemy. 

And with the authority He has given us, we can KNOW that the devil is DEFEATED!!

Post #55(b) - I Am a Christian

I Am a Christian
By: Maya Angelou

When I say “I am a Christian”
I’m not shouting “I am saved.”
I’m whispering “I get lost”
That is why I chose this way.

When I say “I am a Christian”
I don’t speak of this with pride.
I’m confessing that I stumble
And need someone to be my guide.

When I say “I am a Christian”
I’m not trying to be strong.
I’m professing that I am weak
And pray for strength to carry on.

When I say “I am a Christian”
I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed
And cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say “I am a Christian”
I’m not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are too visible
But God believes I’m worth it.

When I say “I am a Christian”
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
Which is why I seek HIS name.

When I say “I am a Christian”
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority
I only know I’m loved.



Poem courtesy of Praywithme.com

Post #55(a) - Who Are We Fighting?

The other day I talked about our willingness to fight for love and learning how to fight differently. Today, I want to ask... 

Who are we fighting?

A lot of times, in relationships, we argue with the person in front of us. We yell and fuss with them, saying hurtful things and treating them like they are our enemies. But, they are not!

We are fighting against the wrong opponents!!

Our spouses, siblings, parents, etc., may have issues and flaws, but they are not the ones we should be warring against. 

We are all imperfect. We all have flaws. And we often see those flaws in one another as areas of strife and criticism. We tend to focus on the things about others that we don't like or that we envy. And we gripe about those things as if the person has done something wrong. 

Really, it's the expectations we have set for one another - expectations of perfection - and their inability to live up to those expectations that gets us upset. We complain to and about our loved ones because they are not measuring up to who WE wanted them to be. 

And the fighting begins...

STOP IT! This is a ploy of the devil!

This is the devil's plot to break up marriages and separate families. This is his plan to keep relationships from thriving. To keep people from meeting their full potentials. 

Satan (the thief) comes only to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). His only purpose is to keep us blind and take from us what is important. And he is always on the job!

Satan wants to remain hidden and make us think that it is each other we need to be fighting against. He wants us to focus on the bad in each other and tear each other down because of it.

But, the devil is a liar!!

HE is the REAL enemy and the one we should be fighting against. He is the one who needs to be bound and defeated!! He is our ONE AND ONLY ENEMY! 

Don't be fooled! 

Don't let Satan convince you that your spouse or your child, or your sister or brother is your enemy. HE IS! And he is trying to kill our relationships, steal our joy, and destroy our lives. 

Don't let him!!

The next time we find ourselves in an argument with our loved ones, fighting to be right and struggling for the upper hand, let's remember who the REAL ENEMY is. And let's remember HOW we should fight our battles.

We've got to call the devil out as our enemy and go to God in prayer. There's nothing more we need to say or do.

"The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace" (Exodus 14:14).

God will fight the adversary for us. And remember, He has ALREADY WON THE VICTORY!!

Post #54(b) - Still I Rise

Still I Rise
By: Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
’Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
’Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Post #54(a) - "This Much"

You may have seen this picture before. It's sold in a lot of discount stores.

It's timeless.

My grandma had it hanging in her bedroom when I was young. So, every time I see it, I feel a sort of nostalgia...

I'm taken right back to my grandmother's bedroom, standing in front of this picture on the wall, and reading it again, for the hundredth time.

It touched me back then, and it touches me even now. Not only because it reminds me of my grandmother, but because it reminds me of Jesus and how much He loves me...

Still.


          Image courtesy of Etsy.com.

Post #53(b) - Willing to Fight

It's funny how one disagreement or misunderstanding can ruin an entire relationship. 

It's funny how pride and ignorance can keep a person from doing what's right... or admitting their wrongs. 

These things keep us from truly connecting with one other in love and giving each other what is needed for a successful relationship.

Some of us are more willing to fight than to listen. More willing to argue than to understand. And more willing to dwell in the foolishness of it than offer a sincere apology and move forward.

Why is this? 

Why are we more willing to hurt each other than to humble ourselves?

Why are we more willing to break up happiness than put our pride aside and preserve it? 

We've got to learn to fight differently!

It stands to reason that if the lack of listening leads to misunderstandings, then actively listening leads to understanding. 

If arguing leads to dissension, then avoiding the argument and speaking to one another with gentleness and clarity can bring people closer together.

If not apologizing brings bitterness and resentment, then a sincere apology brings forgiveness. 

But, we would rather fight to be right than admit that we are wrong. 

We would rather place blame on others than take responsibility for ourselves. 

This is why relationships don't last and the divorce rate is so high. 

Thus is why we are running from partner to partner, perpetually single and forever dwelling in loneliness. 

It's time to start fighting differently!

And I'm willing to start the fight - right here, right now. 

I'm willing to fight with love rather than with damning words.

I'm willing to admit that I am wrong rather than prove that I am right. 

I'm willing to uplift and encourage rather than criticize everything that is wrong.

I'm willing to keep quiet rather than argue my point.

I'm willing to fight.

But, I'm not fighting the same way I used to.
I'm not fighting with my words or my fists.
I'm not fighting in anger or with sarcasm. 

I'm fighting with prayer!

And I'm letting the Lord fight my battles. 

Post #53(a) - Scripture Focus: Philippians 2:12

This post is the continuation of the scripture that I posted last Tuesday and the one that I chickened out on posting the other day. 

This is one of my favorite scriptures: Philippians 2:12 - "...work out your own soul salvation with fear and trembling..."

The first thing to do when studying scripture is to put it into context. We have to study what was being said directly before and, in some cases, directly after the chosen scripture. 

The scripture in its entirety reads: Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

But we can't stop there. 

We have to examine the previous verses to determine what led Paul into the discussion with the Philippians and why he was telling them to work out their soul salvations.

In Philippians chapter 1, Paul told the believers in Philippi how much he loved them and how proud he was of them. He encouraged them to live pure and blameless lives. Lives "worthy of the Good News about Christ. "

Paul went on in chapter 2 to encourage love and unity amongst the believers, telling them to think of others before and above themselves. 

He instructed the Philippians (and thus us) to have the same attitude as Christ:

6 Though he was God,

    he did not think of equality with God

    as something to cling to.

7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;

    he took the humble position of a slave

    and was born as a human being.

   When he appeared in human form,

8 he humbled himself in obedience to God

    and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

9 Therefore, God elevated him to the

    place of highest honor and gave him

    the name above all other names,

10 that at the name of Jesus every knee

    should bow, in heaven and on earth

    and under the earth,

11 and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ 

    is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

It is here, after reminding us of Jesus' sacrifice and humility, that Paul urges us all to do the same. 

He urges us to honor God for saving our souls with the deepest fear and highest reverence. 

We can do this by being obedient to what Paul tells us and the Philippians - to love and serve one another, practice humility, and put God first in all things. 

We must take responsibility for ourselves and do what's right. Honor God for all He has done - loving us and sacrificing His Son to save us. And worship Him with the upmost excellence.

RadicallyChristian.com gives a great synopsis of this scripture, as well. Read their synopsis here. 

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I plan to make this Scripture Focus a weekly post, highlighting my favorite scriptures and studying them for understanding and growth. Please feel free to recommend scriptures that you would like to study and gain a better understanding of. 

Post #52(b) - Go Through Your Storm

I was recently reminded of a time from my past when I was caught in a storm.

I was driving on 95 North from Florida to South Carolina when I ran into a terrible downpour. 

The rain was coming down so hard that I couldn't see two feet in front of me. Traffic was slowed way down. But it was still difficult to see the car right in front of me. 

To avoid getting caught in an accident, I decided to pull off on the side of the road until the rain subsided. 

I sat there and I waited. 

Before long, the rain subsided and it was safe to drive again. But, after driving a short distance, I was right back in the middle of the downpour and had to pull over again. 

Again, I sat and waited for the sky to clear so that I could get back on the road.

But, wouldn't you know it, after driving for just a short distance, there was that downpour again!

After stopping a few times, I realized that I kept running into the same storm. And if I kept stopping, I was never going to get through it. 

So, the next time I encountered the downpour... I kept going.

I battled through it. 

I drove past the cars pulled off on the side of the road. I cautiously pushed forward, passing those who had slowed to a crawl. 

I kept my eyes primarily focused on what was ahead of me, trying to find my way out of the forest of raindrops I was caught in. 

Finally, I broke through the wall of water and out into the sunlight. 

I was free!

I could finally breathe and relax and enjoy the ride. 

Sometimes, when we are in the storms of life, we get so caught up in the trouble that we stop right in the middle of it. Our lives come to a halt and we hold on to the things that hurt us.

We are too scared of the fight... of the possibility of getting hurt. 

We can't see what's ahead of us, so we stop where we are. And we stay there, afraid to weather the storm. 

Afraid of what MIGHT be. 

But, God has so much for us on the other side of our storms. We miss out on life and love and blessings when we stop and refuse to walk it out.

Instead of stopping in the middle of it, we need to go THROUGH our storm.

We must keep our eyes focused on God and trust Him to see us through. Eventually, the storm will pass and our troubles will be over. 

Our freedom is just beyond the storm clouds. Just past the wall of rain... 

We just gotta keep driving. 

Post #52(a) - Did You Miss Me??

Hey y'all!

Of course, apologies are in order... I have been gone for five straight days!

The first of the five days, the day before Thanksgiving, was spent prepping for the holiday and spending time with family.

It was the next day that I got sick.

I felt fine when I woke up on Thanksgiving morning, but as the day went on, I felt worse and worse. By the time dinner was ready and family and friends started coming over, I was feeling horrible. I spent most of the evening in bed.

The body aches, fever, sore throat, and chills came out of nowhere and stayed with me for three straight days! I got the flu, y'all!!

Sunday was the first day that I felt remotely better, but I still wasn't 100%. I still had a sore throat, headache, and crazy congestion. So bad, I couldn't breathe!

I stayed home from church on Sunday, continued to medicate myself, drank lots of fluids, and I slept.

Today I am feeling much better! I still have a slight cough and an occasional runny nose, but nothing as bad as it was last week.

I got back to work today and even got some much needed exercise in.

Since I missed five days, I'm going to submit two posts to the blog per day for the next five days. One for the day that I missed, and the regularly scheduled post for that day.

This post will count as the first submission for today. I will be sharing the second post for today, shortly.

I hope you enjoy the double dosings that are coming over the next several days. I'm working hard to make up for the days that I missed.

Thanks for hanging in there with me! I'll "see" you soon!

-Erika!